Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Heb 4:17
My precious Sisters who are called to die,
Often, I am drawn to memorize a verse and do not realize at the time it is to strengthen me for a trial. At other times a trial draws me to a verse. In the first instance I am brought into an exercise of situation that I might learn Him. He uses circumstances to reveal who He is and who I am. Just as it occurred this week with Job 5:8-9 which I had been studying.
"But as for me, I would seek God,
And I would place my cause before God;
Who does great and unsearchable things,
Wonders without number.
I fought tears with each step I walked. Life hurts. I didn't deserve to be rejected or devalued. I grasped my 'sanity pack' of 3x5 cards in my hand. The card on top being the Job verses. As I read the words breathed life. I determined I would seek God and place my cause before Him. To 'place' was to "commit, give, lay down, heap up, bring." I heaped up my hurt before the throne of the compassionate One embracing grace and the opportunity to know more of Him. I would not 'seek' to blame, or be understood or defend myself, instead I would 'seek' God.
The word 'seek' was to "tread, to worship: ask, care for diligently." Doesn't that just move your heart? We do not bring our cause before just any god. But in a spirit of worship we come to the living God who does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number!! Just then a song was given to this non-singer! "O for a 1000 tongues to sing my ''great' Redeemers praise"... I sang and His Love lifted me.
A critical remark was made in the hearing of a woman working at a hospital. An angry response flew to her lips in her own defense, but at that moment, she heard a word inwardly: "See in this, a chance to die." paraphrase from AC
This has practically impacted my understanding of dying to self, the flesh. See in this a chance to die... to self, and the pride of defending myself,die to rejection or insult or misunderstanding. "See in anything"-- anything that arouses you to claim your rights or even consider them at all... a chance to die. A dead woman is a 'dead' woman.
But as for me, I would seek God.....
A crucified life cannot be self-assertive. It cannot protect itself, It cannot be startled into resentful words. The cup that is full of sweet water cannot spill bitter-tasting drops, however sharply it is knocked. AC
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal 2:20
That I may 'know' Him. Phil 3:10 intimately
Unsearchable One, I am in awe of You. I bow before You, Doer of Wonders without number. Carry me and enfold me near Your heart of Love. It is more than difficult to reconnoiter Your Holiness and power to speak billions of galaxies into being with the fact You indwell me!? Even more so, that You arrived through the birth canal and walked sorrow's sod and died in my place, all so I could be washed clean in Your blood and live.... forever!? Who are You Mighty One? I do not understand about Your Holiness or the relentless Love You lavish on me! You blow me away Breath of God. And to know that You pray for me and comfort me and cherish me... unexplainable, undeniable, unchangeable.... I am on my face before You precious, Holy One.
O for a 1000 tongues...
az
