But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor 12:8-10
Sisters of my heart, Greetings in the Name above all names,
The past week was a hard week. (Many nods of affirmation?) I often spoke aloud: "God is good!" in the face of an army of circumstances, positioned through out the week, that were far from good. I was given this opportunity repeatedly.
Weeks like this I choose to be reminded of God's past faithfulness and page through my journal to glean some perspective. Here is an excerpt from one of many, recorded on April 19, 2010:
"Abba, (Life hurts!) Life is hard, God is good- Don't get the two mixed up! I ask LORD, for you to keep my thinking clear on this.... You are Good, period!! Always You are good. Great and Mighty, a dread Warrior who contends with the enemy as my shield. You are my Refuge, the Beloved One who bestows grace lavishly, daily. How good You are Abba, You are my sanctuary, I am hidden with Christ in You."
How easily I forget God's past faithfulness to me. More so, I forget what I 'know' to be true about the Christian walk. It is difficult. If it were not difficult, we would spend much of our time trying to live it out in our strength, in the flesh. Charles Spurgeon writes:
"God trains his soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers and climb mountains and walk many a weary mile with heavy knapsacks on their backs. Well, Christian, may not this be he reason why He is contending with you?" To be left unmolested by Satan is no evidence of blessing. If man has much of the Spirit of God, he will have great conflicts with the tempter. Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins, but sometimes the trial of extraordinary graces. You never know that you have grip on Christ, or that He has a grip on you, as well as when the devil is using all his force to attract you from Him; then you feel the pull of Christ's right hand."
When I said 'yes' to Christ I was unaware of where it would lead me. I just wanted forgiveness. But now I was caught up in the new reality of His indwelling, which being religious did not authenticate, though I worked at it. Oh, such freedom found me. I was ecstatic and hungrily read His word, for now it was a personal love letter to me! This was a living relationship which was indescribable. I was loved to the max. Now, many years later I know Him to be faithful and His word True. Only He can redeem our failures and only He can carry us.
But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, Phil 3:7-10
At first I was not aware of the many places scripture speaks of suffering. All of us are familiar with a measure of hurt or rejection, loneliness, death of a loved one, loss of a job or health, or the trial of trying to help a loved one who is far from the Lord.... we are not to carry these hurts or resist them, but to embrace each one and trust Him. He gives strength and also allows us to know Him intimately and this I am unable to delineate.
A dear believer sent me this today and I know it will bless you: “When I said yes, Lord, I didn't know the pain would be so intense. When I said purify me, I didn't realize my being would be so thoroughly seared. Do not stop Lord, until you are the Light of my eyes, and the breath of my soul, for I am Yours. Shatter everything that is not of You.” unknown
Amen and amen! and ouch! Never has a believer grown into healthy spiritual maturity with pressure meetings and exhortation and certainly not before being prepared by the Spirit. What is required is a needy heart. Need is God's basic ingredient for spiritual growth and need is produced by trials. Need is what causes us to reach out and appropriate Truth by faith. All too often believers are pressured to grow before they are aware of need and need a bitter experience of their own inadequacy before they will learn to appropriate Christ's strength and leading. It is a moment by moment of dying to the flesh and surrender to the Holy Spirit. How blessed we are my sisters. These Truths give perspective on suffering. We can give thanks.
Father-God, Holder of my hurts, You alone are my Peace and Strength O Keeper of my heart. I will not turn back from the 'Yes' I spoke. Teach me how to trust You alone Lord and fill my heart with faith to endure all things. You are beyond description, majestic and glorious. I long for You. I am a stranger in a foreign land and long to come home. Let me exalt You today and love another in the power of Your Holy Spirit as you give me an undivided heart. I am so thankful I do not have to keep myself, or fix myself but You alone are Jehovah Tsidkenu my Righteousness. Thank you for dying for me. I pray each sister will see and believe the love You have for her; for You keep those who love You. You pray for us! How amazing is that? I bow in worship, on my face before You. I pray in the Holy Name of the King of kings. amen
hugs and prayers,
az
