Brothers and Sisters,
A new
year.
What
will it bring? What did it interrupt? What will come to an end? What will it expose? What will
it bring together or separate?
What will cause you to laugh or wring out your soul with sadness? What
dreams will be realized or evaporate?
A
new year.
Heralded
across our nation is the need to make resolutions, it is a time to examine ourselves
and wrestle a plan into place, to improve who we are and it goes something like
this: “do better, try harder, be stronger, pray more, read God’s word more, do
good, change my bad habits, eat healthier, I should give up _____. Exercise, be
patient, learn a new skill, be kind, love others, be humble, tell the truth,
stop indulging food or immorality, stay away from porno, drugs, or fatty foods.
“ Reading this list takes the dance from my feet and the joy from my heart! Like
a pack of dogs biting at your ankles until you trip and fall.
You must be born again. John 3:7
God
alone gives us a clean slate, a 2nd chance, a fresh start. I like to
call it a new beginning, for that is exactly what it was….. I was 25 and so
religious I squeaked. I didn’t drink, swear, do drugs or sleep around and I
read my Bible and taught Sunday school.
I was a lost as can be and filled with a self-righteousness I did not
call by name. I lived years, hanging by the thread of fear that I did not
measure up. Fear I would not be ‘good enough to enter heaven. Then date rape devastated
my life. 16 and pregnant and scared beyond words, I ran away from home and the
shame of my circumstances and married this man who was 4 yrs older than I. Daily
I lived in shame and guilt and was flooded with great disappointment of what
could have been. It was a roller coaster of crisis replacing my hopes and
dreams for my life.
I
was barely 17 when I gave birth. Being a mom came naturally and I loved it. I
just couldn’t figure out why this man didn’t love me. I grew up with a Father
who loved my mother beyond words. What was I to do? I cried out for a new
beginning. God in his amazing faithfulness drew me to Himself through the hurt
and rejection in my life. My husband was in Chiropractic school and I was
blessed to stay home and care for our daughter while taking care of 35 units,
just to pay the rent. We bought our first house, he began his practice and I
was miserable until… Jesus found me and gave me a new start. Jim had told me he
would leave me if I ever got more religious. Well I didn’t. I left religion
behind and embraced my new beginning! Born again and washed in the blood of the
Lamb. I now had reason to live. Wow! One moment I was dead and the next I was
alive and praise the Lord, I have never been the same.
God
is faithful, unlike my husband. Though life is full of hard things and wounded
me over and over I have great joy in the Lord my Savior. I frequently need reminding life is not
about me! 50 yrs of being married to this man, praying for his salvation, has
been used by my heavenly Father to change me; creating the likeness of His
Son in me.
He indwells me!!
I pray that out of His
glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being…
Ephesians 3:16
I do
not make resolutions for that is presumption and makes life about me. I set
goals but in trying to be strong I find I am weak, I try and be patient and
fail. Trying to change my behavior ends in failure, but as I graduate from the
school of failure, weary of ‘trying’, I am finally ready to receive from the
Lord what He has provided. It is then I lean hard into Christ and find it is
not a matter of trying but trusting. I cannot change myself
because I am a sinner. He can accept nothing from my fleshly efforts. I am not to produce but to receive. I am to reckon
on the Truth of His word. He strengthens, comforts, gives wisdom, blesses,
leads, satisfies, and encourages as He pours out His grace and mercy. I dwell
in His loving watch-care. As I learn more and more about who I am in Christ I
want to know Him more and more intimately. His word is my tresure.
Gracious Abba, my loving God, You who led me out of darkness in
to the Light, You found me and
rescued me when I was so far from You, religious and blind. I run to You and long to be like You. Thank
You for the day I am with You, home at last. Until then make me content to have
You indwell me. You are peace and I need You to be near me. Thank You for giving to me a spirit of rejoicing.
And strength to endure and dance before You with joy. Hallelujah to the Holy
One.
A
blessed New Year in the Lamb!
az
