Though He Slay Me....

...join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God...  according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity...  for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. II Timothy 1:8-9,12 My Dearest sisters, whose names are engraved on the palm of His hand, you, who have been in His heart from eternity past, greetings in His most precious Name, Has anyone ever said to you, ‘Grow up!’? I resented this as a teen.  God’s word says: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro... (eph 4:14) That says to me: 'Grow up!' i still find at times i live in the arena of ‘feelings’ and wonder when I will choose to stop my childish behavior. Immaturity which insists God explain Himself; 'why' He has allowed a difficult situation to make itself at home in my life that is as unwelcome as a party-crashing, bull-elephant, without an invitation, it is now residing beneath my roof. I long to live the Truth of this quote found long ago in the journal of Arnot of Central Africa “I am learning never to be disappointed, but to praise “  Amy C. states this:.. it is a word of  peace. I think it must hurt the tender love of our Father when we press for reasons for His dealings with us, as though He were not  Love... as though what He chose to allow could be less than the very best and dearest that Love Eternal had to give.  Until i grow beyond this childish realm of ‘sight and feelings’ how can i go forward? I may thrash sideways or stress up and down, but not forward. I felt God ask me this week, “Arlene,when you do not see my hand or sense my Presence, will you trust me and endure as beholding Him who is invisible? (Heb 11:27) i wanted to shout.. “Am I Moses?” But I knew this quiet question was telling. My Father desires me to trust Him relentlessly, even if He steps back, with-drawing any sense of His Presence. Even when darkness is so great i cannot sense His Love and Grace enfolding me.      “There is no grace in delighting in the Presence and favor of the Father when they are resting consciously and continuously upon us; for this rejoicing comes from sight and feelings. But there is precious grace in the delight which is not dependent upon His favors, nor upon our enjoyment of them; but wich is wholly dependent and has its source in the Father’s explicit Word, and His eternal faithfulness.”CHM This is true but I wouldn't choose it.  When life hurts and grace feels far away and the hope, love and joy, are almost extinguished in my heart, when circumstances are overwhelming and fierce the temptations, and faith seems nonexistent and words to prayer refuse to come...  i must 'choose' to stand and fight by rehearsing the goodness of God. I must choose to verbalize aloud the Truth of His faithfulness and power and must also choose to rest in ‘Who’ He is. I must choose to honor Him and speak words of praise (even if void of emotion) for Truth is power and by speaking scripture i can put the enemy to flight.  Such as Job 13:15: ‘Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him’.  Speak this Truth to Him: "Though You slay me yet will I trust You, Abba!"  Thank Him for praying for you. (John 17) Sing (by faith) regardless of how you feel! I bow before You Abba, You who are always Love, always Good, You who daily plan good for me. Give me an undivided heart that I might not just endure but endure with joy. That I might not just sing, but sing with all my being, to You who are worthy beyond understanding. Touch my sisters with Your Truth as only You can. Encourage and strengthen those who are weary and deliver those in bondage of fear... Guard them and give them laughter to day. I pray they will choose to behold You with a heart that chooses to be thankful over and again. Take them to a place near You, where they will rejoice in their suffering and fill their heart with faith to trust You, now, today for whatever they face. You alone are Strength and Hope and Wisdom and Love. You alone are good..... Lord thank You for letting me love You. I pray because You have provided this gift of kneeling before Your throne.  I love You.  az

Not I, but Christ

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. John 14:15

(Jesus command) Whoever serves me must follow me.. John 12:26 

My dearest Sisters who love the Lord,

Those who desire to serve Christ walk straight into the crucible. At the foundry we melt bronze in the crucible at about 1500*. The bronze casting process truly replicates life. We cut, hammer, drill, grind, weld, power-wash and apply smelly chemical patinas to achieve likeness and beauty.  God works in our life to create the likeness and beauty of Christ in us we receive  blows and cutting and grinding away of all that is unlike Him. We are pounded with struggle and poured out to accomplish His will and purposes for us. It costs to serve. And Jesus states clearly that if we are to serve, we must follow and if we are to follow we must deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. The 'daily' part is so hard. I think how wonderful it would be to have it all accomplished in one day lasting until I am home with Him! 


Our life is "not I, but Christ'. (Galatians 2:20) How often i have quoted aloud these four words! The Lord does not ask me to work for him. He intends to work through me! There is a huge difference (ponder this). In one instance I am striving to work worthily for Him, feeling I never measure up... busy, busy, busy and feeling barren. This is why a most important factor in our walk is the Holy Spirit's revelation of the self-life to us. First we learn: 'not I' then 'but Christ'. EX: a kernel of corn falls into the ground, dies down in the dark, dank earth and because it dies new life springs out of its death bringing forth much fruit. The stalk, then ears, then kernels.


We are to called to die to the flesh and out of death His resurrection life might flow through us for His glory. All resurrection life flows out of death or it would not be resurrection life.



For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. II Cor 4:11-12

Do you see the amazing promise here? When death is at work in us, it is Christ Himself who touches others through us... Paul said when death worked in him, Christ's life worked in those he was serving. Their is a cost to follow the Lamb; death to self; just as it cost His life for us, whom He served. It costs to let Christ's love flow through you... death. We all have someone in our lives we struggle to love, but if Christ's love is flowing through us it will not fall short. When we struggle, as Paul describes in Romans 7, that is a healthy sign though it doesn't feel right. How else will we learn to detest the flesh and look to Christ for our need. 


 All through life God must show us our utter sinfulness and need before He is able to lead us on into realms of grace, in which we glimpse His glory. Self revelation precedes divine revelation. MJS


The Christian who is wrestling in life with failure is right where God can work in her life. Self will never cast out self. Only by God's Holy Spirit and His mercy leading us into total failure do we experience the great need to seek Christ and His strength and perfection. In the end we will know success and growth as God has planned. Whatever crumbles in the process is only that which needed to be removed from our lives. People and circumstances are not really the reason for our failure are they? The problem is 'our' reaction to them. My failure to be patient or to love or forgive others.... is the failure that causes me to cast myself on Jesus and cry out " Lord, change me"!


How infinite are the forms in which self appears. Some are occupied with good self. They pride themselves on their excellencies. Others are just as much occupied with bad self. They are forever groaning over their imperfections, and struggling with the flesh as if they hoped in time to improve it. When shall we be convinced it is so utterly bad that it is beyond all recovery? Is it, 'Reckon yourself to be weak in reference to sin? No, it is lower than that. Is It, 'Reckon yourself to be dying?' No, lower still. 'Reckon yourself to be dead' (Rom 6:11) indeed unto sin.' E.H.


Some think they are very 'weak' but this means they have some strength. A dead man has no strength. We are to live the 'fact' we are dead to sin and alive to Christ. It is not true because we live it, but we live it because it is true.


Namer of the stars, You who have engraved my name on the palm of Your hand, You who've known me by name from eternity past and have written my name in the Lamb's book of life; to whom will i compare you? Who is your equal? By the greatness of Your power You sustain life! I bow in awe of You. Who am i that You should love me? care for me? carry me? bless me? Who am i that You allow me to draw near? to know You? enjoy You? i rest in You Keeper of my heart.  As i die, You live through me. I lift up my sisters asking You to guide their steps in Your Truth. Hold them and teach them to apply this dying to self (Romans 6) and rest in Who You are. Keep them from discouragement as You reveal their sinful nature to them. I pray they will keep their focus on You and not the trial. So many voices call to us give us ears to hear only You. Remind them again of Your love and that the battle is the Lord's! 
In Your majestic name o Lamb of God i pray.


Not i, but Christ....
az

Better than a Hallelujah?

Revelation 19:1
[ The Fourfold Hallelujah ] After these things I heard something like a loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, saying, " Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God.....


My dearest Sisters,
Years ago I heard this: 'It takes a lot of Truth to float a little lie'.  There is a very popular song with a catchy melody that quickly assimilates into one's brain but disturbs me deeply. I realize there are songs which are not actually scriptural in every aspect, but do not thwart doctrine.  Please carefully ponder with me the definition of the word 'hallelujah'.
hallelujah |?hal??lo?y?| (also alleluia) exclamation

God be praised (uttered in worship or as an expression of rejoicing) : He is risen! Alleluia!

noun

an utterance of the word “hallelujah” as an expression of worship or rejoicing.

 (from the 16th century) directly from Hebrew hall?l?y?h ‘praise ye the Lord.’

This word is the same in every language around the world! I believe it is to be reserved for worship of Christ Jesus alone, our precious Lord and Savior. He is the only One worthy of such adoration.  The song (I've heard too many times) is one touching the emotions of the heart and at first hearing seem good, but what are the words proclaiming? Consider phrases such as 'the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah'. Is this true? Honest cries are good but earthly. Truth: there is nothing better than a hallelujah! How can a mother's tears at night be better than a Hallelujah? They may be dear to the Savior's ear and He may share her tears and answer her plea but is it better than a hallelujah?  God hear the cries of a breaking heart (true) but is it better than praise and worship of the Holy One? 

You may not agree with me, but I find the song's statement  alarming; fitting into the category of 'having my ears tickled!'  See: II Timothy 4:2-4 nas. My heart has refused to resonate with lyrics which make the Christian life about us. I find it leaves me unsettled. For me it spiritually dethrones my Lord and seriously diminishes the meaning of the word Hallelujah; moving it to the mundane it reflects where the church is today. God says we will give an account (I will give an account) of every idol word I speak or for carelessly misusing His Holy Name or attributing to earthy things that which reserved for exalting Him alone.

Definition of mundane:  of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one.

It is always the spiritual that matters most, and so the assault on the spirit is always fiercer than on the body. ac

We have the opportunity of proving our God True and worshiping Him! Did you ever stop to think how humbling and amazing it is that we are allowed such a privilege? I know that when Christ Jesus is on the throne of my life, there can never be anything better than a hallelujah! Hallelujah for who He is and what He has done for me. There is nothing this earth offers that compares to what is mine in Christ and what awaits me eternally. I hope you are caused to sing... "Hallelujah, what a Savior".  Our glorious Lord deserves nothing less than grateful singing hearts.

Exalted One, Holy beyond comprehension, it is You i adore. Were i to suddenly be in Your Presence I would be flat out on my face before Your glory; daring not to raise my head to glimpse the Holiness and Power and beauty emanating from Your throne. I pray for my sisters, Your beloveds, the ones You think about and love immeasurably! Give them discernment and wisdom and let them find their satisfaction and joy in You today. Remind them Your loving kindness enfolds them even now. Remind them of your  greatness and that You alone are worthy of every Hallelujah we would ever utter!  Give them a song in the night, give them a song in the day, give them a song of thanksgiving and praise to You. I pray in the Name of the only One worthy of receiving our 'Hallelujah's', Yeshua Jesus, Lamb of God.

Hallelujah to the Lamb,

az

When You said 'Yes' to the Lord...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor 12:8-10


Sisters of my heart, Greetings in the Name above all names,


The past week was a hard week. (Many nods of affirmation?) I often spoke aloud: "God is good!" in the face of an army of circumstances, positioned through out the week, that were far from good. I was given this opportunity repeatedly.


Weeks like this I choose to be reminded of God's past faithfulness and page through my journal to glean some perspective. Here is an excerpt from one of many, recorded on April 19, 2010: 
"Abba, (Life hurts!) Life is hard, God is good- Don't get the two mixed up! I ask LORD, for you to keep my thinking clear on this.... You are Good, period!! Always You are good. Great and Mighty, a dread Warrior who contends with the enemy as my shield. You are my Refuge, the Beloved One who bestows grace lavishly, daily. How good You are Abba, You are my sanctuary, I am hidden with Christ in You." 


How easily I forget God's past faithfulness to me. More so, I forget what I 'know' to be true about  the Christian walk. It is difficult. If it were not difficult, we would spend much of our time trying to live it out in our strength, in the flesh. Charles Spurgeon writes:


"God trains his soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers and climb mountains and walk many a weary mile with heavy knapsacks on their backs. Well, Christian, may not this be he reason why He is contending with you?" To be left unmolested by Satan is no evidence of blessing. If man has much of the Spirit of God, he will have great conflicts with the tempter. Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins, but sometimes the trial of extraordinary graces.  You never know that you have grip on Christ, or that He has a grip on you, as well as when the devil is using all his force to attract you from Him; then you feel the pull of Christ's right hand." 


When I said 'yes' to Christ I was unaware of where it would lead me. I just wanted forgiveness. But now I was caught up in the new reality of His indwelling, which being religious did not authenticate, though I worked at it. Oh, such freedom found me. I was ecstatic and hungrily read His word, for now it was a personal love letter to me! This was a living relationship which was indescribable. I was loved to the max. Now, many years later I know Him to be faithful and His word True. Only He can redeem our failures and only He can carry us.




But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, Phil 3:7-10



At first I was not aware of the many places scripture speaks of suffering. All of us are familiar with a measure of hurt or rejection, loneliness, death of a loved one, loss of a job or health, or the trial of trying to help a loved one who is far from the Lord.... we are not to carry these hurts or resist them, but to embrace each one and trust Him. He gives strength and also allows us to know Him intimately and this I am unable to delineate. 


A dear believer sent me this today and I know it will bless you: “When I said yes, Lord, I didn't know the pain would be so intense. When I said purify me, I didn't realize my being would be so thoroughly seared. Do not stop Lord, until you are the Light of my eyes, and the breath of my soul, for I am Yours. Shatter everything that is not of You.” unknown


Amen and amen! and ouch! Never has a believer grown into healthy spiritual maturity with pressure meetings and exhortation and certainly not before being prepared by the Spirit. What is required is a needy heart. Need is God's basic ingredient for spiritual growth and need is produced by trials. Need is what causes us to reach out and appropriate Truth by faith. All too often believers are pressured to grow before they are aware of need and need a bitter experience of their own inadequacy before they will learn to appropriate Christ's strength and leading. It is a moment by moment of dying to the flesh and surrender to the Holy Spirit. How blessed we are my sisters. These Truths give perspective on suffering. We can give thanks.


Father-God, Holder of my hurts, You alone are my Peace and Strength O Keeper of my heart. I will not turn back from the 'Yes' I spoke. Teach me how to trust You alone Lord and fill my heart with faith to endure all things. You are beyond description, majestic and glorious. I long for You. I am a stranger in a foreign land and long to come home. Let me exalt You today and love another in the power of Your Holy Spirit as you give me an undivided heart. I am so thankful I do not have to keep myself, or fix myself but You alone are Jehovah Tsidkenu my Righteousness. Thank you for dying for me. I pray each sister will see and believe the love You have for her; for You keep those who love You. You pray for us! How amazing is that? I bow in worship, on my face before You. I pray in the Holy Name of the King of kings. amen


hugs and prayers,
 az

Romp in Jeremiah

O great and powerful God, whose name is the LORD Almighty,  great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Jer 32:18b-19a

Greetings in Jesus name to all my precious Sisters,

My prayer for you this week is for your hearts to be filled with faith to choose with your ‘wills’ specifically to believe that God is good. I know you would probably all answer spontaneously in the affirmative. I want to encourage you to engage this Truth allowing it to challenge how you have previously embraced it. My Pastor’smessage this week was on the goodness of God. It is the most prevalent truth God is teaching me. I remember a time in my life when I often felt the only good thing in my day was the food I had eaten!  It was then my hungry soul read and clung to these words: 

Psalm 92:15 LB "He is my shelter. There is nothing but goodness in Him!"

Profound! but do I truly believe this? If I believe this would I question God’s dealings with me? I considered the pain and confusion of loss with the many faces it wears. Health, finances, death, disappointment, sin, fears, rejection, abuse....

I was slow to learn everything does not have to be good in in my life to be good in my soul because He is good. As I trust him He turns my loses to joy and my trials benefit me in the end. He brings good out of the worst circumstances. Praise Him! And the greatest good I know is His allowing me to draw near; resulting in a hunger to know Him intimately. Consider:

When God gives He is good.

When God takes He is good.

When God waits He is good.

When God is silent He is good.

When God disciplines He is good.

When God tries me He is good.

When God carries me He is good.

When God does not pick me up He is good.

No matter how I feel, God is good.

Only my arrogance sights God as unfair, uninvolved, unloving, unfaithful, or untrustworthy and my unbelief stays His hand for good in my life. As I romped through a few chapters in Jeremiah it was exciting to see the progression, as I read about this weeping prophet who did some strange things in obedience to God's instructions, regarding the messages he delivered to Israel. In chpt 27 he wears a yoke which is broken off his neck by Hannaniah. Isreal refused to listen. God prophecies against them using Jeremiah’s lips to pronounce “Thus says the LORD”...  yet there are some real jewels in these few chapters. 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'  (29:11)  (At first I saw loss and trials under ‘calamity’). In 31 Grace in the wilderness' is promised after surviving the sword. Often our trials are sharp as swords yet the promise here is sweet... in our wilderness, fresh from surviving the sword; God who is good, provides the grace of comfort and everlasting love. 

31 speaks of deliverance and in 32 is one of my 'cling-to' verses: "Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. (Jer 32:17) O great and powerful God, whose name is the LORD Almighty,  great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. (Jer 32:18b-19a)

Following this in 33:2, Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

Connect these three verses together. There is nothing too hard for God and then in v19 the life-changing statement.... "great" are His purposes! He then invites us to ‘call on Him’ that He may show us great and mighty things. (reveal Himself to us!?) He does this best through need-producing trials. When I fail over and again to love, I run to Him to love through me etc. No matter what struggle I am in or loss is suffered the Truth is unchanging: God is good and will use it for good in my life to create in me the likeness of His Son. Great are His purposes. Is love swelling up in your heart for such a Savior? Stop and give Him praise.

Foolish, finite, stubborn, I cannot see beyond now. How easily I fret over the small insignificant things in my day allowing the sin of grumbling and unbelief to reign in my heart, when I could choose to give thanks. 

It seems counterintuitive to give thanks in suffering, but God commands it, and countless people have benefited from it. R.Alcorn

“Sin need have no more power over the believer than he grants it through unbelief. If he is alive unto sin it is due largely to the fact that he has failed to reckon himself dead unto sin. R.P.

Do you believe God is good?' I hope it shakes your thinking today to consider it. God’s goodness is the attribute that is part of all His other attributes. If God is unfaithful can He be good? If God is Good can He be unfaithful? and so on. This I know: He is Good, I am not. 

I come again Holy One, You who are the Lamb-sacrifice, You who have nothing but Goodness in your being. Out of Your greatness You work Your will in me whom You love immeasurably. I long daily to ‘taste and see that You are good’. It causes me to seek You. It causes me to question why You would choose to love me and save me and let me enjoy You! You promise nothing is too hard for You and then You invite me to call on You and You will show me great and mighty things... Abba, there is so much I do not know that I long to grasp. You are comfort, You are endurance and hope and mercy. Today I need all You are to make it through and live in a way to bring You glory. I bow.... I worship. Bless my Sisters with a hunger to know You intimately and seek You with all their hearts; enduring because they believe You are good. Lord You see into each heart.... it is such a relief to know You are good because nothing is hidden from Your eyes. You see all. I pray in Your name Yeshua, Lamb of God. amen

Because God is good...

az

Endurance a Life long lesson

...I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. II Tim 1:12b

My Sisters in the Lord,

 Deep in my heart I desire to reflect my Lord; that my brief life here might be 'not I, but Christ'. I long for the Holy Spirit’s 'much' fruit (Gal 2:20, John 15:8) that I might bring Him glory. Have you not also prayed for patience and love to flow through you? (I Cor 13) Then do not fear whatever trial you now face. Embrace it in faith and reap a rich fruitage 'afterward.' (Heb 12:11) Trust Him. Trust means to 'lean hard into God'. (When reading your Bible try this phrase where it says 'trust'.) 

Those who know your name will trust (lean hard into) in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

Is there anyone who having set their heart to live a crucified life, exalting our beloved Lord,  who has not instantly become a target of the enemy? Discouragement is one of satan's most effective tools especially when it comes to intercession. How easily we can slip into discouragement when our fervent loving prayer for another has not seen it's hopes fulfilled. Days and months pass, even years may have gone by and we ‘see’ nothing...

Matthew 15:21-28 tells of a woman who refused to be discouraged even in the face of being ignored and criticized. Interceding from a mother's heart of love her pain was geat! She believed who Jesus was though it does not tell us how she heard about Him or if she had previously witnessed His power to heal. We do know she had faith. Knowing who He was revealed to her the truth of who she was and she cried out "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed." These words divulge that she knew more than the average non-Jew about Messiah and she knew she did not deserve Him to even acknowledge her presence. She also knew satan possessed her daughter! Put yourself in her place....  You know to Him to be Messiah and you know He has miraculously healed others. You are hopeless and you know no one can help your daughter. A ragged cry erupts from the depths of your mother-heart and you look up to catch His eye only to see His back and a deafening divine silence! The words you do not hear and the words you do hear strike with fear... "Send her away, she is extremely annoying!" ... but you stay and choose to keep believing. Kneeling, the jagged rocks digging into your knees, you humble yourself before this very average-looking man and cry, "Lord, help me!" ("Lord" infers she worshiped Him v25).  Hear Jesus final words with your heart, "O woman, your faith is great..." She believed, she endured, she worshiped, she received,! 

Do you relate to this woman? I do. I have a daughter who is cruelly deceived and held captive by the enemy. Rebellious for more than two decades and in crisis almost monthly as she embraces lies making self-destructive choices and continues on stubbornly. God is greater than her lies, greater than her wrong choices, greater than the enemy who comes to kill steal and destroy. She is His who loves her more than I. 

With my eyes on circumstances it is hard to keep believing and keep praying, but I endure moment by moment or I should say crisis to crisis, as I choose to focus on Him "knowing whom I have believed." It is He who began a good work in her will continue it. I praise Him for His love and faithfulness daily and He has provided prayer partners to stand with me.. Praise Him! I give thanks for each one.

"I am learning never to be disappointed, but to praise," wrote Arnot of Central Africa."

"I think it must hurt the tender love of our Father when we press for reasons for His dealings with us, as though He were not Love, as though not He but another chose our inheritance for us, and as though what He chose to allow could be less than the very best and dearest that Love Eternal had to give. AC"

Keep praying my sisters, keep believing for the ones astray from the fold until Christ be formed in them! One of life's lessons is learning to endure.  God hears and answers in all wisdom. Our faith is in a great God who puts our tears in a bottle. 

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24

Abba, You who love us immeasurably. It is You we are in awe of Namer of the Stars! It is You who knows the names of those for whom we pray. We praise You for working in their lives, even now, to give them one heart to reverence You. Stir up the Living Word in their lives for it will not return void but accomplishes Your will! Bring a need into their life which causes them to humble themselves before You and let Your loving kindness has led them to repentance.  There is nothing too hard for You Father. I stop right now to say "I love You" and I am overwhelmed with who You are, with Your goodness. Thank You for being so good. I pray as always in the name of the Lamb of God, who reigns forever. amen

Enduring because He is good!

az

Questions and more Questions

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us... Hebrews 12:1

My Beloved Sisters in the race of faith,

I spent some time with a sister who has a suffering-walk in this life. As I drove away I was reminded of the many 'testimony' services I have been in over the years; testimonies of how God changes lives, meets needs, heals disease and intervenes with amazing timing. It is joyous to hear testimonies of God's faithfulness and blessings; unless it is never your testimony. Tears fill your eyes and you feel forgotten, as though you do not matter much to God. We all know people want to hear about His amazing provision and how He rescues His children. A good God would certainly not leave them to suffer..... would He? Yet His word is brimming over with scripture about suffering.

I have often wondered how many testimonies are not given because they do not have a 'deliverance' or a answer to a heartache or trial? Is God 'not' faithful if there is no 'miracle'? Is God 'not' good if our prayers, to all appearances, are 'unanswered'? Maybe it is that we do not recognize God's hand because the answer is one we would not embrace or choose? Does it take more faith to receive a 'yes' from God or a 'no' to being healed? Is God somehow obligated to heal us? Could it possibly fit His plan to use our suffering, even our death (or both) to accomplish His will? Is God obligated to save a family member? Is God still good if you have prayed countless years and there seems to be no progress and things are worse? Is losing your job or your business punishment because God is somehow displeased with you? Could He have a higher purpose in our suffering? Is God after our happiness or our holiness? Do we sit and wait for God to be faithful in our life because of a skewed understanding of the purpose of trials or do we just want to be in control and decide how things should be? Could He be trusting us with the mystery of His will?

"Yes, He often trusts us to trust Him when it doesn't seem as if He were providing."ac

I believe God will reveal in heaven a very surprising perspective of trials and losses suffered.  I am convinced the endurance of a believer, who suffers and is faithful to our Lord Jesus, is greater than a quick, temporary answer that pleases us now? Could it be endurance is the greater miracle? A saint who with joy, moment by moment keeps praising, keeps believing, keeps standing strong, keeps trusting the Father, with no visible encouragement and no end to the suffering in sight, could they be the greater testimony to God's faithfulness. 

My friend and I sat and talked of God's goodness. She shared that this past two years has been a time of continual loss and more loss. I took her hands in mine with her palm up, as if in surrender and ask quietly, "Are they empty?" She hesitated a second and said, "No, but they're raised." God's Spirit filled our hearts and mouths with His praise and we celebrated. Her hand gesture and words of of faith encompassed this unspoken Truth: "I will praise Him if nothing ever changes because He is good. He is faithful. His grace is sufficient."

I am inspired by her testimony of God's faithfulness as I have watched her suffer endlessly.  God has given endurance when things seemed cruel and impossible. He has poured out grace and I have witnessed in her a 'freedom in Christ" the world has never tasted. Suffering is temporal it only feels eternal.

"Never will you regret the fellowship of sufferings. There is nothing offered on earth but a cross (and what joy is folded up in that offer!) Luke 9:23  One of the hardest things in our secret prayer life is to accept with joy and not with grief the answers to our deepest prayers." ac

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:11

I pray to You Suffering One, You who poured out your blood at Calvary and opened a way for us to be with You for eternity. Our suffering and trials are not happenstance but directed by Your nail scarred hands. Thank You not one minute of suffering will ever be for naught as we trust You for the unexplained. You alone offer the fellowship of suffering and benefit our taking up our cross. Teach us to trust You and believe it is good for me to suffer affliction that I might learn your statutes.  Thank You for child training us because You love us immeasurably. Wherever my sisters find themselves this week, I pray they would seek You and enjoy Your love and grace. You hold their hearts in loving, gentle hands and for this I praise You. Encourage sisters who need encouragement and strengthen those who feels so weak. I pray they will draw near to You and experience You drawing near to them. You are an awesome God and I am in awe of You Holy One, You are so good. In your Son's name I pray.

az

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