When things are outside our control, there is one thing we can choose...

Not to us, LORD, not to us 

   but to your name be the glory, 

   because of your love and faithfulness. Psalm 115:1

To my Sisters who are running the race marked out for them,

It was a sunny afternoon for the Bar Mitzvah celebration in a beautiful backyard. A small boy was running as fast as he was able, attempting to keep up with the older children. He fell tearing his pants and scraping his knee. His Father, the Rabbi, deep in conversation with other men heard the cry from afar and turned to see his precious son running to him with arms reaching up. "Abba, Abba" he cried through his tears. As my friend observed this tender scene, God spoke silently to her and she saw herself in the little boy running to his Abba, Daddy! The Father bent low and caught his son up in his arms to console him. Our Father, our Abba, bends low to lift us up! He is filled with compassion for His children. He cares about the smallest detail of our lives.

Learning moment by moment to endure comes from enduring. Refusing to feel sorry for myself, refusing to quit, refusing to give in or give up is enduring. I hear the echo of words spoken in the past: "I just can't do this any more, i can't do this one more minute......"My daughter, I know you cannot, but I can." Enduring for one more minute was not an option, for the next moment was not yet mine. I had only the present moment, and my choice. A friend once said, "It is greater pain not to endure." I have found this true.

Chip Ingram said "Trials are inevitable. Trials make us or break us. Victims refuse to move beyond asking 'why' and are stuck in their pain. Conquerers and survivors stop asking why and ask what."

I rejoiced to hear such a simple statement with so much power behind it. Believing God is in control, always good, all-wise, full of compassion and never makes a mistake can change everything! The only thing we may have a choice in during a trial is our attitude. 

A holocaust survivor was beaten, stripped and searched. Everything was taken from him. The only thing he had was his wedding band. When they took that last thing, something seemed to break inside him. He choose to keep a good attitude, refusing to be bitter as his right. Another prisoner questioned him as to why he did not hate the Nazi's and was not bitter. He answered:' The only thing I have which they cannot take from me is my attitude. I refuse to give them that power over me.'

 Even when i am at an all time low and want to throw in the towel and run, i can choose to endure. God has given me a 'will' which is my 'chooser'. I can choose not to live by my feelings, refuse to feel sorry for myself and trust God. To trust Him i need to know Him. If i are Biblically illiterate i will not think clearly and i will blame God for my suffering. I live in a fallen world, people lose jobs, suffer great loss personally and financially, experience broken relationships and ill health. Asking why briefly is not wrong, but to stay there is like a grave.... death to life and all that is good, resulting in bitterness.

I can choose instead to embrace the brokenness. Run to Him in faith and to His word. I am told to 'consider it all joy' when i encounter various trials.  The word ‘consider’ indicates a 'choice'. The testing of my faith produces endurance. I am to expect fiery trials; they are a gift. God has grace for me every moment of every trial. He wraps each trial in His loving kindness. Choice: Do i believe God chose this trial and it is the best to accomplish His perfect will in me? If there had been a better, kinder, more simple test to accomplish what He desires, He would have taken me by that path. The test is for me to pass because God is for me.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:1-2

I only know something wonderful happens inside of me through the trials He allows. If i wait to feel good about a situation or wait to feel my God is in control; that may never happen. It is a fruitless venture to spend much time asking “why?” This side of heaven may have no answer for my 'why'. God has given me a 'will' to exercise even while struggling with my attitude. With that 'will' I will choose to ask "what" instead of 'why"! I will embrace the Truth of who He is. Lord You are good, kind and faithful!

What do You want to teach me through this trial? 

What will You reveal to me about Yourself?

What do You want to do in me? 

What do You want to do through me?

He will cover you with his feathers,
   and under his wings you will find refuge;
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4

If God has singled you out to be a special object of His grace you may expect Him to honor you with stricter discipline and greater suffering than less favored ones are called upon to endure. To do His supreme work of grace in you He will take from your heart everything you love most. AWT

 The sculptor does not use a manicure set to shape the rough stone into a thing of beauty. The saw, the hammer and chisel are His tools.  Amy Carmichael lay for 35 years on her bed in pain inspite of a great many faithfu, l believing prayers for her healing and she left a treasure of writings that live to minister to many today.

Abba, Daddy, i run to You. I know You so much better because the trials have caused me to cast myself at Your feet. You make no mistakes... You are life and breath and Hope and I choose to trust You. Thank You for taking the hard things and using them to benefit me. Who but You O LORD could redeem even trouble? Wasted time? Wrong choices? and every hard thing that comes my way? There is no God but You. You alone are worthy of all praise and honor and glory. You alone will perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish me, enabling me to trust You at a whole new level! Thank You, Abba. In Your Son's most precious name.

Brokenness comes from Your hand, teach me to trust You fully,

az